


The Lone Animal

by HooliganJinsei



Category: Norse Religion & Lore, Vikings (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Historical References, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:28:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22811653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HooliganJinsei/pseuds/HooliganJinsei
Summary: The sun shining through the forest leaves, three men stand tall while one stayed on the ground sitting against a tree, all strong in their own way. The one sitting against the tree grabbed my eyes with such intensity I felt as if the gods were speaking behind the bright blueness staring into mine- Chapters swap between the two main characters!!!-
Relationships: Bjorn (Vikings)/Original Female Character(s), Hvitserk (Vikings)/Original Female Character(s), Ivar (Vikings)/Original Female Character(s), Ivar (Vikings)/Reader, Ivar (Vikings)/You, Ubbe (Vikings)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	1. Holgan

**Author's Note:**

> If you're reading this, know that I APPRECIATE YOU!
> 
> This is my first work and I'm hoping to make it into a book??
> 
> A good old Vikings/Ivar the Boneless fanfiction is my attempt to try and write a real fantasy that's been playing in my head! 
> 
> Feedbacks are really appreciated!!!  
> Thank you so much for reading this, anonymous readers!!

_Fyrstr_.

Cold. This land has always been cold. I do not know where I am, or what I am doing but all I know is, I am alive. 

The vibrant green, the icy fog. I am nowhere close to the village. I quickly scanned my surroundings, in the middle of the forest, shades of green litter my sight — An icy fog had covered most of my vision but I could tell I was safe and alone — with no sign of human life. I haven’t felt this free since I arrived on this cold, godforsaken land. I had gotten so used to sitting and waiting, I had completely forgotten the weights on my legs — I can still remember the endless hours of work — a shiver ran down my spine as I tried to shake off an unwelcome feeling. 

Unpleasant. 

I remember bits and pieces of my life before I arrived in this land. Dark faces but welcoming arms, warm but at the same time cold. I remember little but all I know now is that I must survive — I whistled, a short quick one. Before I knew it I was running, climbing over limbs of trees, sliding and gliding through the dense forest. Every now and again whistling, my short quick whistle, a calm feeling wrapped me like a warm cloak — This freedom, I’ve waited far too long to taste. Those men. Those awful men — I felt my legs quicken at the thought of them, I continued running until I heard something, low but loud thuds on the earth. I smiled and continued on, slowing my speed to a calm walk. I heard quiet breathing coming from behind me and I felt my grin widen. Found them. 

Moon. Midnight. Crazy-eye. Angel. I turned and found a small wolf pup. I crouched, slowly and gently. The wolf pup tilted its head but didn’t move — A light brown color, with patches of lighter and darker shades of brown littering its sides and feet. 

“T’lotó” I whispered as I bowed my head to the wolf. A light nuzzle on my shoulder told me everything I needed to know, I turned and hugged Moon — being raised by wolves alongside a human family has taught me one thing, words are unnecessary — my mother and my sister, Moon, an all white wolf — her hazel eyes told me she must have been human in a past life but still majestic and beautiful — has finally given birth. As I released Moon, I felt a tiny mouth nibble on my pants and looked down and saw Star gently biting and pulling at my pants — I've never been more grateful for the old man clothes I stole off that man till now — I slowly dropped my hand close to her, She smelled me scent for a little while before rubbing her head against my hand, as I looked up from Star, four more little pups — all different shades and hues of black, brown and one particularly small white pup with black shoe paws and a black ear — started running towards me. I turned and grinned at Moon, she nodded her head and gently wagged her tail — I missed everyone and now there are more of them, I haven't felt this happy in a long time. 

A low growl emitted from behind the pups, I paused and listened — Is that not Midni — A snarl ripped from the beast, I looked up and saw Midnight — Glorious and Big as ever, Black as night with ruby red eyes — stalking up to us. I gently shoo the pups to Moon before I quickly submitted, laying on my back, eyes closed, arms and legs bent so my feet are planted, I waited. The growling got louder the closer he got and once I felt him practically on top of me, I quickly reached up and grabbed his snout before he had a chance to pull away I grabbed his throat with my other hand and twisted, slamming his body down to the ground. He whimpered, body wiggling and worming around aggressively trying to free himself from my tight grasp. I snarled and got directly in his face, pushing his snout downwards, I let out a deep growl — I remember how I used to follow Midnight around, his right-hand man until he deliberately tried to attack me, feeling threatened by how Moon and the other wolves naturally followed me, I don't fully remember what happened but I snapped. It was Moon and Crazy-eye who pulled me away, it was just blank and a white noise — I tightened my grip at the thought and stared directly into his eyes. Red and bright like freshly spilled blood, Midnight squirmed and whimpered harder. I growled louder, — A flash of anger came over me pressing down harder on his snout. A loud whine poured out of Midnight as he relaxed his muscles finally submitting properly. I let go of his snout and he quickly scrambled up and stepped back a few feet, head down he bowed to me. I rose and a snarl ripped out of my throat. He stayed with his head bowed to me, I very slowly stepped towards him. 

“Hačh yo.” I stated, my voice low and deep. Midnight slowly lifted his head and looked me in the eye as I took in his appearance — Black fur that looked a deep indigo in the light hitting his back. Red eyes full of emotion. He slowly nodded and made his way, gently as if I were to jump away in fear. I crouched to the ground calmly and opened my arms, he simply walked into my arms and placed his head against mine — The ancient language of the wolves. The only thing I could fully remember from my time before now. I opened my eyes and stared into Midnight’s crimson eyes — The wolves speak through their eyes, the raw emotion behind each wolf’s eyes tell you everything you need to know — Moon made a weird small squeal like noise, I whipped my head around; thinking she was in pain but instead I found her ready to pounce, body low to the ground, tail waving side to side gently, eyes focused and wide. 

The gods have allowed me to live and have reunited me with my family — I haven't felt this happiness in a long time. I let go of Midnight and started laughing as Moon pounced on me and midnight playfully, nipping at my hair and clothes. The pups ran over as well and joined in the fun of messing with the Alphas, I looked up at the sky and smiled. — Blue sky, Green leaves, family surrounding me. The warm feeling filled my chest and I grinned till my cheeks hurt. I am home.


	2. Holgan

_Annarr._

  
  


It had been a few weeks since I left that horrid place, living in the forest with the wolves comes naturally — I like to believe that I used to live in one just like this before I came to this land. A high pitch scream echoed through the forest, I quickly stood up — Tattered clothes, no weapon. Another ripped through the forest, louder this time — Gods forbid — I made a motion to the wolves, who were just as alert as I was, to stay and not follow. 

I quickly followed the origin of the scream as I came close, another scream came out before being muffled. I quickly smelled the air — Sweat, Saliva and fear — I felt a growl try and escape my throat, the reason behind her screams became clear. I made my way to the noises and found a little village, 2-3 houses with acres of farmland. I sniffed the air again looking for the same smells, I let my nose follow the smell until I got a house hidden by large trees. I crept around the back of the house, the woman’s muffled screams turned seldomly to muffled sobs. I looked about for any kind of weapon — Trees, wooden planks, barrels, useless items littering the ground. Another muffled scream came out from the house. Without a second thought I ran into the house, the scene in front of me only made me see red with rage. Without thinking I ripped the man off the woman — I should’ve hurried — I grimaced as I heard the woman’s whimpers of pain. 

“What the Hel?!” The man yelled, quickly standing up — His eyes widening in shock — I couldn’t even comprehend the reason behind this action, a thought quickly popped into my head — The wolves when confronted with a bigger animal. Attack. the. Throat. — I smiled with all my teeth and widened my eyes, the man took a step back out of fear but quickly recovered and lunged forward. His hands went for my neck and I quickly ducked and punched him in the ribs, he shouted out in pain but still continued to attack, grabbing my waist and picking me up, slamming me down onto the floor. I coughed as I felt the impact, he lifted his foot over my head and I quickly rolled out of the way, I placed my hand flat on the ground, twisting my lower body upwards in order to kick him dead in the left side of his face — Do not kill him — I frowned lightly to myself and watched as he stumbled to the right, groaning while clutching his face. I quickly rose and tackled him to the ground, punching him, left then right then left then right until I couldn’t hear anything, blood splattering my front as I continued to punch — Red. Everything is Red. That smell. — I felt myself smile as if I were outside of my body. 

I didn’t stop until I came too, his face practically gone, nothing but blood cover his now swollen shut eyes, his mouth spilling blood out. I got close to his face and a snarl ripped out of my throat. A quiet but clear cry came from the woman. I got off of the man and slowly made my way to her — Curled up to cover her naked body, silent tears streaming out of her closed eyes.

“Y-you okay. Now sleep. You okay now.” I said softly, gently petting her head. She carefully opened her eyes — Green as the forest when the gods smile on the world — wide with shock and pain, she nodded slowly, I smiled a small smile at her before I slowed my movements and looked away — The wolves have taught me that words aren’t ever really needed — I turned back to the man, who still lied unmoving, his chest very slowly rising and falling — Bastard. He better thank the gods if he survives — I then saw the shoes on the man’s feet and felt a ping of anger raise as I looked at my own pitiful feet, his brown animal skin shoes that came up mid calf looked perfect compared to my own brown, dirty bare feet — remembering the heavy flat rocks tied around my ankle-calf area — I shrugged off the uncomfortable memory and reached over gently, not to startle the woman and ripped them off his feet, he laid unmoving still and I grinned to myself as I slipped my feet into the shoes.

I went back to gently petting the woman's hair and gradually felt the woman relax under my hand. I watched her, following her covered chest as her breaths come out in hiccups — Damn monster. — I looked around for something to cover her with and found a blanket, I crawled over and grabbed the blanket, finding a pair of clothes on the chair next the bed — A black tunic with a pair of dirt brown pants. I grabbed the clothes stuffing it into my armpit as I placed the blanket on her, pulled her gently into my arms, she shuddered in fear. I frowned as I very slowly stood up, holding her close to my body. I walked out of the house and looked around — Seems like no one heard anything or cared enough to look — I quickly headed to the forest, making sure I wasn’t seen, while holding steady on to the woman. She whimpered, this time out of feeling cold, I chuckled lightly and held her closer to my body. As I got closer to the wolves, I decided against taking her back to the pack. I looked down at her in my arms — Messy red locs covering her right eye, long eyelashes brushing her rosy upper cheeks, the skin under her eyes, dark and streaked with dried lines from tears — I suddenly remembered the smell of a town coming from the opposite direction in which I came with the woman — I must take her there, she’ll have a new life. A small smile came onto my face as I started my way to the town, remember the feeling of being free and how the woman would feel nothing but that feeling as well once she awakens. 

I just made it to the town by the time the sun had set, shielding me in the darkness, I dropped the clothes I found, knowing they’d only get in the way. I saw the entry into the town, two black raven flags waved in the night breeze. I felt the woman begin to stir awaken, I carefully placed her on the ground to the right of the entryway and hastily made a break up one of the nearby trees. I crouched onto the thick top branches of the tree, hiding behind the leaves. I watched as the woman slowly woke up, realizing she was still naked, she covered herself properly with the furs and frantically looked around. As she found herself alone, she slowly stood up, making sure the whole blanket shielded her body before fearfully walking into the town entrance.

“Hello? Help!” The woman called out into the open fields. Walking calmly before quicken her pace, she whipped her head around in a frantic manner. I bit my lip, knowing she's looking out for that man. I waited on the branch until some villagers found her, thankfully all women. I clutched at my chest as I heard her cries — A mixture of happiness and feeling overwhelmed — I remained on the branch until I could no longer see the woman and hopped off. I walked back over to my new clothes, looked around to make sure no one was around and quickly changed. I stalked my way to the wolves, smelling the air now and again due to the darkness. Eventually I make it back to everyone and Midnight growls a low growl when he catches a whiffu of the other human scents coming off of the new clothes, I roll my eyes and chuckle.

“libita coūsa?” I asked him, knowing the smell of new humans upsets Midnight to no end. He huffed, stood up and moved a good distance away — the moonlight lighting up his cardinal shaded eyes in the near pitch black forest — if it weren’t for the moon, I wouldn’t have been able to follow him, all the other wolves were spread out, either laying out or curled up next to each other. Moon walked over to me and the pups — who should be asleep — followed. She curled her large body around me as I leaned back on her side, cozying up into her pale fur. The pups mimicked my movements and curled up around me, leaning and adjusting to be as close to Moon as possible. I felt moon nuzzle my head — She used to do that when I was younger, reminding me that we’ll remain this way till one of us passes on — I nuzzled back and laid my head completely against her side, feeling heavy with sleep, I looked down to the pups who were now fast asleep and giggled lightly to myself before letting the warmth of Moon and the pups and the night covered forest comfort me to sleep.


	3. Holgan

_þriði._

I woke up to the noises of Midnight grunting and groaning, slowly stretching out his long body, I was careful to not move, not wanting to wake up the remaining sleeping pups. I looked around, Moon was still sleeping underneath me, breath coming in little puffs of fog — If it wasn’t for moon I would’ve froze to death — I slowly leaned more into her side, trying to steal as much warmth as possible before getting up. I heard a low groan and whipped my head to Midnight, who was standing tall and alert, also searching for the origin of the noise. A whimper followed shortly after the groan and I recognized it that whimper anywhere, I bit my lip before standing up making sure not to bother Moon or the pups — Bruna. — I moved around everyone to quickly jog over to Midnight, his eyes showing deep concern. I was about to signal him to go right while I go left, when Bruna — A deep brown wolf, yellow eyes piercing through the anything that made contact — limped and whimpered over to me. 

“Pititchu! Basî! Pititchu Basî Na!” I yelled over to moon, startling her awake. I ran over to Bruna who collapsed before I could get to her, whimpering and groaning, I kneeled next to her, placing her head in my lap and I looked over what was causing her pain. Moon was quick to be by my side, looking at Bruna with eyes filled with sorrow, I followed Moon glances and found 4 long claw marks ripping Bruna’s right side almost open, blood covered fur, the flesh almost split open as blood continuously spilled out. I twitched my head back and looked at moon, indicating I wanted her to get the healing plants, she nodded quickly and galloped back over to where I hid all random Items I found. I felt Bruna jerk her body and I brought my head down to touch foreheads — A sign of respect and love — she whimpered harder, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I knew she was dying and wouldn’t make it. I pressed our foreheads closer as I felt Bruna’s breathing begin to calm down, I felt my eyes fill with tears as I heard moon gallop back with my leaf pack of healing herbs and plants, I looked up at moon, who dropped the pack close to me and she understood. It was already too late.

I held Bruna until her breathing had come to a slow pace. I pressed my forehead to hers — A warm day, we’re all in the forest, running around, dancing and play fighting. Bruna and I play fighting till she submitted and I bit her brown ear gently, I laid next to her and giggling while she rubbed her body into my side, her tail wagging with happiness — she let out a sigh of comfort before going completely still. I let the tears fall freely down my face and looked at Bruna, eyes closed, body still but her face completely relaxed. Moon walked over and gently pushed her snout against Bruna’s back paw, stepping back sadly when it remain still. I looked around us, the other wolves mourning — ears flat and pinned back, tails still, eyes filled with sadness — Midnight slowly walked over, his tail and head hanging low, He sat next to me, leaning gently on me — The few times this happened midnight’s true alpha shines, showing grief but also comforting the younger wolves, moon and myself. 

He let a slow and deep howl out, letting the sadness leave his body in the form of the howl — Sad and robust — the other wolves slowly joined, not completing a harmony but instead all howling in their own form of grief, creating a heartbreaking melody. The pups had made it over to moon, cautions and afraid, Star leading the group, as they got to moon and saw Bruna still on the ground, Star slowly stalked up to Bruna’s body, mimicking Moon’s reaction and slowly walked over to Midnight, curling up against his leg, he stopped howling and curled up around her, nuzzling her gently before beginning his howl again. I silently moved and positioned myself so that Bruna’s back rested on my thighs, I slowly picked her up, making eye contact with Moon, the pups sadly curled up around her as she laid half up, half down — the brown and the green in her gorgeous eyes melting together as the they screamed with grief — staring at me until I could no longer watch the pain in her eyes, I began walking in the opposite direction. 

Once I could only faintly hear the wolves sorrowful song, I gently laid Bruna’s body on the frozen moss and began preparing the burial ritual for her — From what I can remember from back home, a wolf death is also gaining another guardian, to watch over us and guide us through hard times — I smiled sadly at the fading memory of home. I started searching around for large sticks and branches to build two fires on the right and left side of her body — Quiet and empty — a cold mist settling around us as I continued working. 

A high pitched snarled ripped through the quiet area like a knife, I whipped my head around hoping she had magicly survived but sadly her body laid still on the frozen ground, a brown animal was slowly stalking it way to her. Body long claws, long limbs with a shorter body and a bushy tail with white sharp teeth. I quickly snarled and tried to close the space between the animal and Bruna’s body, it snarled back and turned its attention to me, its white teeth gripping each other tightly in a nasty snarl as it launched itself towards me, I growled and slide to the left, it quickly followed and swiped my right calf, I snarled and kicked it in the snout, stunning it long enough for me to run backwards away from Bruna’s body. The beast recovered and grunted as it moved and stalked towards me, I looked down at my leg, four short claw marks running along the front of my calf, blood seeping out of the open wound slowly — At least it wasn’t deep — It gnarled and galloped rapidly towards me — what is this beast — it hurtled forward in an attack and I quickly rolled backwards kicking it up and over my head, I quickly spun around and got up in a low standing position. It sluggishly got up, shaking its head right and left before locking on to me again. I let a snarl rip its way out of my throat and it snarled back an even nastier one, I waited and watched it stalk back and forth all while not looking away from me, It suddenly pounced forward; mouth open in a strong growl, I felt the beast claws sink into my arm as I reached under its mouth and pressed hard into its throat, it whined loudly, still clawing at my arm as I pressed harder onto its throat — Red. That iron smell. Kill. — I pressed down with all my strength until a loud snap slashed through the empty forest. I watched it’s limbs fall limp, its eyes still open peering into mine before falling relaxed. I ripped away from it and clutched my arm, I stared at its motionless body, making sure it was dead before looking down at my arm, deep claw marks running down my arm to my hand as smaller marks ran alongside the deep ones — Thick blood seeping out and down my arm — I carefully ripped the whole arm off the tunic and used what was left of it to wrap around the wound — anger surged through my body — I looked at the blood stained cloth, I snapped my head towards the body of the beast and a growl tore out of my throat. I limped over to the body — the pain finally settling in. I grabbed it by the back of the neck and dragged it back towards Bruna’s cold body — I shall offer this beast to the god Skaði — The I put the body down in the middle of the two stacks of wood, trying to ignore the searing pain shooting through my body as I began finishing the burial.

The sun was setting by the time I finished, I held Bruna’s pelt in my hands over her body and looked into the coming darkness blankly — a song from a place I long to fully remember — I watched the fire dance from the two pits, the beast laying on its side; in between, blood seeping from the slice to the neck — black oozing out of it — while the nighttime breeze glide against my skin. I closed my eyes and began singing a song in my mother tongue — the only memory of this song is a woman singing it as we stood close by the fire while I stared at a dead wolf — a shiver ran through my body but I continued singing, slowly getting louder as I gently placed the pelt over the body. I smiled sadly.

“Haĉh Awí, Kalíso Nèuk ōk.” I said lowly, I grabbed the pelt and limped over to the tree closest to one of the fires, I sat down gradually — sharp pain piercing through my body — finally letting the pain take over. I wrapped the pelt around me and closed my eyes.

_I opened my eyes slowly, seeing the blue-gray morning sky greeting my sorrowful mind. I saw a brown figure sitting in front of me, I quickly blink a few times and got into crouching position, a low growl slipped out. A woman, sitting with one leg crossed and one held close to her chest. Bronze skin shining even in the early morning gray, her_ wild _dark brown hair dulled compared to her icy blue-gray eyes that held mine with an intense glare._

 _“Holgan, it is rude to glare at others. Especially when you don’t know who they are.” The woman spoke_ — _in my mother tongue_ — _a deep proud voice, a shiver slowly crept through my body as I stiffened my stance. The woman laughed, covering her smile with her hand._

 _“Who are you?” I snapped_ — _her calmness was irritating me further than her watching me rest_ — _The woman stopped laughing and stood up abruptly, her icy eyes freezing me in place with fear. She growled lowly as she slowly walked towards me_ — _a gray wolf wrapping around her waist as a deep blue tunic covering her chest, her bronze hands clenched into fists_ — _I felt myself unable to move as I watch this woman stalk up to me. As she stood above me, proud and tall she grabbed my face and harshly tightened her grip on my jaw, a quiet whimper betrayed my glare and she pressed harder into my jaw_ — _She’s gonna break my jaw. I tried to let out a low growl_ — _which just earned me a hand smashing my head into the tree_ — _as I tried to focus my eyes_ — _Red and blue spots sprinkling the air around her_ — _She held my face in her hand again, this time tenderly._

 _“I am the goddess, Q'wati_. _Others call me Skaði,_ _the god of the Forests and the Mountains,_ _You have struggled at such a young age Holgan, you offered this sacrifice to me and for that I am grateful but you lack respect and discipline. Therefore heed these next words.” Her words strong while her eyes softened, a warm feeling spread through my body_ — _The pain is gone_ — _I relaxed and held her gentle gaze. “You will meet three different gods. Hel, then Nótt, lastly Dagr. The day you meet Dagr, the decision is yours to take.” She let go of my jaw and dropped to kneel in front of me, she brought her hands to the back of my head and gently brought our foreheads together_ — _The sun shining through the forest leaves, three men stand tall while one stayed on the ground sitting against a tree, all strong in their own way. The one sitting against the tree grabbed my eyes with such intenseness I felt as if the gods were speaking behind the bright blue_ ness _staring_ in _to mine_ — _she pulled away slowly and looked into my eyes again_ , _her once icy eyes warm with emotion._

_ “Also Holgan, make sure my forest remains as it is. I’m entrusting that to you.” She slowly stood up before ruffling my hair, a slow smile crept onto her face. _

_ “Do you have to leave?” I asked before I could stop myself, I bit my lip feeling foolish. Her smile dimmed a little but stayed laid gently across her face. She nodded and began walking away. I kneeled on my knees and grabbed a fist ful of my tunic. “I will not disappoint you, Goddess Q'wati _ ! _ Thank you for protecting me! Thank you for everything!” I screamed, the same warm feeling getting hotter as she kept walking. She finally sat back down and looked me in the eyes _ —  _ a warm smile sliding onto her face with grace _ .

_ “ “We’ll meet again in Valhalla Holgan. I shall be waiting” She announced. I suddenly felt tired as I sat back against the tree, fighting to keep my eyes from closing. “Libita kû tuah Holgan” Her voice ringing in my head as I fell back asleep. _


	4. Holgan

_ fjórði. _

  
  


The day the goddess,  _ Skaði  _ showed me a glance of my prophecy, it was then my duty to make sure that the forest was protected. She entrusted that to me — in exchange of course — I smiled at the thought of the goddess and quietly stood up, the seasons have come and gone and I made sure the forest stayed as it was. I slowly walked as I watched the pups play fight with each other, Star — Aka Mini Moon — nipped and wrestled her brothers not giving in to the slightly bigger ones, everyone playing with each other or watching star while the runt of the litter sniffed around completely uninterested in the others. I watched the pups slowly attack midnight all at once, nipping and headbutting every part of him, I turned and saw the young black and white wolf slowly trail along the end of the forest — where I discovered people tend to wander the up into the forest the furthest. I kept my distance but followed the curious one, the sun shining bright through the forest as the leaves were slowly starting to change colors, a faint rustle came from behind so I paused and held my breath to listen, light panting noises — trying to hide under the noise of the leaves. I let out a breath.

“T’lot ó .” I said in an angry tone. Star quickly came out of the bushes and brushed up against my leg, the smaller wolf caught whiff of us with the help of my voice and galloped back towards us, I sat with my legs folded under me and opened my arms for the pup to run into — Bigger than it was when I first met the young wolf but still smaller than the average young wolf — I roughly ruffled the pups fur as it leaned in towards my hands, Star sat next to me, tail wagging as I played with smaller wolf. I stopped my movements and waited til the pup looked up and into my eyes, its dark brown eyes — the same shade of old bark with hits of yellow peeking through — the white ear remained in a bend form while the black ear stood tall. I smiled at the little one, who straightened up to tilt its head to the right. 

“Nari.” I spoke lowly, staring back at the pup. It straightened it’s stance and lets its teeth peek through before butting our heads together, I let a laugh out before gently holding Nari’s head in my hands — The sun shining bright and clear, the blue sky holding us with a warm breeze — I pulled away gently, a bright smile on my face and I stood up, Star took the chance to tackle her smallest sibling, playfully nipping at Nari’s tail. I looked up at the sky and took in the greens and light yellow leaves in the trees above, a deep yellow leaf fell ever so gently I couldn’t not take my eyes away from it as it swayed back and forward in the pleasant breeze — The warm breeze sliding off my face reminded me of when I stumbled upon a man sitting near the waterfall, high on top of the hill, sitting close to a mound of earth while mumbling in sad words in the same language as that man. He slowly tied two sticks together, one laying across the mid of the other stick, when he finished he wiped away tears as he stood up and slowly drove the stick into the ground, I heard a wolf from far away let out a robust howl and slowly a few other wolves joined as I felt my heart fill with both want and sadness, the man looked up into the forest frowning in sorrow. Blue eyes as bright as the sky above. 

A rustle brought me back, I hushed Nari away from Star and signaled him to go back to the pack, he nodded and quickly ran back. Star stood alert and still, waiting for me to take lead, we slowly approached some black berry bushes where the rustling continued, I got low to the ground and kept stalking forward until we were both almost touching the bush, I glanced over to Star who quickly read my eyes — Attack. Don’t kill. — pouncing through the bush, a high pitched scream came from the other side and I quickly pushed through to see Star, teeth bared in the face of a small girl. I snarled and grabbed star by the back of the neck, pulling her off as the child and glaring at her — who huffed back, annoyingly — I looked down at the small child, her wide brown eyes filled with fear, her messy dark blonde hair falling over her shoulders, her clothes slightly tattered, I slowly crouched down at to eye level with the child — Her chestnut eyes shaking slightly — she quickly shrank back and wrapped her arms around herself.

“Angrboða!!” A women screamed from not too far away, I saw the girl open her mouth but slam it shut when I put my finger to my lips, shushing her silently. I slowly reached my hand out, keeping eye contact with the child who just shrank further back. “Don’t touch her!” I whipped my head to the side to see the same woman, huffing and puffing out of breath all while keeping her eyes on me and the child. I took my hand back and stood up slowly, I shot her a glare but she stood strong, eyes flashing from the child to me. I blinked slowly, trying to remember words from the past.

“Yours? Your…..slave?” I spoke lowly watching the woman flinch at the sound of my voice. Her brown eyes shaking with pure fear but her face and body showed no sign of weakness — She shook her head.

“She is my daughter. Just let her go and we can talk.” She spoke, her voice betraying her strong appearance — Ah, she does understand me — I looked back at the child and cocked my head to the side, telling her to leave, she quickly stood up and ran passed her mother glancing back for a second before continuing. I looked down at star and looked back at the woman.

“Sis...ther” I said slowly, ruffing star’s head before dipping to the ground, leaning close to Star’s ear, all while watching the woman who stood very still, her deep brown eye darting from star to me back to star, blonde hair laying on the green dress that covered her shoulders, the black around her eyes making them match — She’s beautiful.

“Kítka.” I whispered to star. She looked up to me, unsureness filling her eyes, I nodded before standing up again. She whimpered alittle before running back through the bush. I stared down and up at the woman, watching her grow more and more scared with every second. I cocked my head to the side — She is completely afraid of me — She never took her eyes off of me, although her eyes and lightly trembling hands clutching the front of dress screamed with fear, her body stood tall and strong not once flinching. “No hurt you.” I finally said while raising my hands up slowly. “On goddess, Skaði.” I said strongly, leaving my hands up as I slowly stepped forward. She flinched alittle before relaxing just a little. She let go of her dress and looked me in the eyes.

“Who are you? Where do you come from?” She asked, her voice gentle and motherly. I sighed putting my hands down to my sides — she’s talking too fast. 

“No k-know. I-” I stopped looking at her before bowing slightly to show the top of my head. A jagged scar running from the left side of my forehead to the far left of the back of my head — Don’t pity me — I growled standing straight again, looking away from the woman “No know…..I-” I stopped again this time struggling with the foreign language.

“You don’t remember?” She asked lightly sensing the frustration. I nodded — hoping what she said was right.

“I sorry, s-sister hurt y-your….” I trailed off trying to remember the word from before. She laughed lightly before stepping forward towards me — She’s alittle taller than me but she seems nice. But so did he — I stepped back alittle, smiling weirdly at her as she stopped, frowning to herself. 

“It is alright. Where do you live?” I didn’t answer, I just pointed back into the forest. Her mouth made a small ‘o’ before nodding. “Well would you like some food? Some warm food” She smiled while making ‘eating’ motions — Ah, food…..I don’t trust her — I shook my head and she frowned. 

“I won’t hurt you either but it is your decision, you can come if you like.” She said slowly so I could — kind of — understand. I nodded as she turned around and walked back the way she came, looking back at me with a gentle smile before continuing. 

I ended up following her, letting her be quite a ways ahead before following her scent. I ended up at a large open house that connected into the lake in front of it — I killed a rabbit for her to cook on the way, mostly to apologize for scaring both her and her daughter — I slowly made my way to the trail of smoke coming out of the house, I walked quietly, watching her get water and put it into the large pot sitting on top of the fire. 

“You came.” She smiled, I smiled back a small one. Her daughter ran past me to hide behind her mother’s leg, I smiled sadly before crouching down to her eye level, she shrank back when I met her eyes.

“Tsidá Hokŵat’. No hurt you” I said gently, holding a small yellow flower in my hand, stretching my arm out in her direction. The woman smiled at me and patted her daughter’s head, saying something too fast for me to understand. The child looked up at the woman before slowly stepping slowly towards my open hand, she took the flower out of my hand and smiled sweetly before running to a doll sitting on the floor behind her mother, I slowly stood up watching her sit down, grab the doll and put the flower behind its ear, smiling brightly at the doll. I looked at her mother, as she started cutting vegetables for — a stew I think? — the warm meal she spoke about. I put the rabbit on the table in front of her, she smiled brightly at the rabbit, not once stopping her chopping, she looked at me with sadness in her eyes.

“Thank you” She said before standing up to dump the chopped vegetables in the pot, she grabbed the rabbit and started skinning it; she looked at me as I stood watching her skin the animal. “Sit, Please” She spoke, pointing at the seat across from her with the knife she was using. I accepted and sat across from her, looking from her to her daughter then around the whole house — there’s alot of boats here. 

“So what is your name?” She asked, I snapped back to her to see that she hadn’t stopped to look up. 

“Holgan.” I said, I crossed my arms and placed them on the table. “You?” I asked simply. This time she looked up — Her pointed nose reminds me of a bird — I took in her features as she spoke with a smile painted on her face.

“Helga. My daughter’s name is Angrboða.” I looked at her and — very slowly — repeated their names. She nodded and went back to cooking. “Do you know your age?” She asked, I furrowed my brows in confusion. “Oh. Old? How old are you?” She asked again. I shook my head as a frown formed on my face — I wished and prayed the gods would help me remember my past — She looked at me with a sad look in her eyes.

“Well you look like a young, healthy girl, so we can thank the gods for that” She said with a smile, although the sad look in her eyes stayed. I nodded and went back to watching her daughter play around the house, every now and again making eye contact with me to smile before going back to playing. Helga didn’t ask anymore questions and silently went about cooking, for that I silently thanked her, mostly because I only understood bits and pieces — That man. Those men — I shook my head gently.

“Are you okay?” Helga asked as she stood in front of the pot, stirring slowly. I nodded my head slowly, she frowned not liking my answer but didn’t push any further.

“F-food, T-thank you” I stuttered, still struggling to remember the right words, she smiled in return as she continued cooking. I stood up and slowly walked towards the water, I stood in front of the small waves — The water gently washing over the sand — I thought about the village where I took that woman to, I crouched down and stared at the little waves gently crashing on the sand.

“You k-know Báuak?” I asked not looking up from the water, mixing the strange language with my own. I heard helga put something down and quietly make her way towards me, she silently stood next to me, looking farther out at the water. I looked up at her and watched her body relax.

“What is a….what did you say?” She asked finally looking down at me — Damn, how do I say — I shook my head, struggling to find the word for it.

“B.á.u.a.k” I said slowly, crossing my thumbs while making my hands flap open and closed. Helga quickly nodded. “A bird!” She said. I shook my head before nodding slowly — at least she kind of understands. I looked around for something dark, I quickly spotted a dark rock and grabbed it. I pointed at it and spoke again.

“Báuak!” I tried to explain, pointing at the rock before repeating myself. Helga furrowed her brows trying to figure out what I meant. I watched her eyes widen slowly. 

“Raven! A raven?” She asked. I quickly nodded hoping what she said was right, She motioned for me to wait for her, she ran back into the house, grabbed a piece of cloth and quickly walked back, unfolding it slowly. She opened it fully showing me, a big black raven on it — It’s the same as the ones from the town — I smiled brightly. “Báuak!” I said again, Helga smiled back and repeated it back to me slowly — I hope my mother treated me with the same kindness — Helga handed me the cloth to look at as she went back to check on the meal and Angrboða who ended up falling asleep, hugging the doll to her chest. I stood up and walked back into the house, sitting back down in the same spot, silently watching helga cook the food.

“Why do you ask about the Raven?” Helga asked, her voice hinted with a menacing tone. I smirked back.

“I know p-place…..” I explained the best I could while pointing in the opposite direction from the house. Helga smiled and nodded. “Kattegat.” She said. I cocked my head to the side, she giggled. 

“Kattegat. The town is called Kattegat.” She said slowly so I could understand. “K-Kat tah gaat?” I repeated, she shook her head and said it again. 

“Kattegat?” I said finally after struggling — with my own tongue, gods. Helga nodded and placed a bowl of stew in front of me, smiled sweetly before going to wake up Angrboða, Helga picked up her up, put her on her hip and walked back to the table, I smiled at the child — who was trying to wake up still — and started eating.

Eventually the sun went down and the moon was bright and high, we finished eating by then and Angrboða stayed up for alittle longer before going back to sleep, leaving me and helga to talk — attempt to anyway. 

“Place….good?” I asked as Helga poked at the fire. “I suppose you can say that.” She replied with a sad smile. I frowned.

“Bad?” I said — even though it came out as a growl — Helga shook her head and gave me the same sad smile. “No, my husband did a terrible thing but I still love him.” She paused taking a sharp breath in before continuing. “My husband…...doesn’t believe in…..himself” She said very quietly, I pieced together that she is hurt by her lover but not physically, I moved closer to her and put my head on her shoulder, ignoring the flinch from being surprised. 

“He t-trapped?” I asked slowly. She didn’t answer but only nodded her head, I took a breath in and decided to change the subject — I don’t like seeing this woman sad — I took my head off her shoulder and stood up.

“Holgan?” Helga questioned, I didn’t say anything, I simply walked to where the house stopped and the beach started and stared out into the dark water.

“God, Nótt……..She here.” I said. I looked back at Helga who just looked at me blankly, a growl left my lips as I went back to the water. “You Sigyn. Libita.” I said plainly, not bothering to look back at her — She thinks she is weak because of her husband but she is stronger than she thinks — I continued. “Goddess Sigyn, no b-back d-down. Libita” I slapped my arm as I held a fist up. I turned around to look at helga, who was sitting with her head hung, a small smile on her face. She let out a loud sigh and stood up, She looked at me and I watched the fire dance in her eyes — Brown mixing with the fire, mimicking my own — as she nodded sharply.

“I don’t completely know what you said but you are right, all the goddess are strong and never back down” She said, her voice strong with pride. She smiled and walked over to me to stare out into the dark water as well.

“How do you know of our gods?” She asked with the same tone from before — She sounds like him. I growled and snapped my head to her, Her strong features disappearing at the sound of my growl. I frowned, knowing I scared her and looked away.

“I o-old slave. I no h-home” I explained. “I see Goddess Skaði….in..?” I said while pointing to my head — Please understand. She nodded and that sad smile came back onto her face. I went on — slowly — to try and explain my dream—my prophecy, every now and again watching Helga’s face.

“You met the goddess Skaði in a dream? Telling you to protect the forest?” She finally pieced together after my — many — failed attempts at explaining. I nodded my head up and down quickly. She smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder, pushing gently so I could face her. “You have been chosen for great things, Holgan. You were chosen by the gods for greatness” She said, a bright smile spreading across her face. Without thinking I hugged her, pressing myself into her tightly — she smells like a home. Home. — I felt her arms slowly circle around me, pulling me against her body just as tight. I pulled out of the hug but left my hands on her arms, gently holding them.

“Thank you.” I said before letting go and stepping away, she furrowed her brows and opened her mouth to speak but I cut her off before she could. “O rahn chi..” I said while pointing back towards the forest. She nodded and smiled sadly again.

“You are welcomed back whenever you want.” She said slowly for me to — somewhat — understand. I smiled back before walking back towards the forest — Maybe this was my meeting with Hel? I smiled to myself as I made my way back to the pack.


	5. Holgan

_ fimmti. _

  
  


I continued to met with Helga and Angrboða every now and again throughout the spring, Helga told me more about Kattegat and helped me with the language — to her best ability — while I brought meat and fur for them to use — from the state of her house I could tell her husband, Floki did alot of the work. The cold winds of winter had came through the forest covering the green and yellows in white frost, I slowly made my way towards Helga’s home as a wind whipped in front of me lifting my hood of my head, I quickly pulled it down and wrapped Bruna’s pelt tighter around my body. I stopped on a hill close enough to helga’s house to where I could see it but hidden from the view from the house, I felt star brush up against me silently — She has gotten very good at stalking in pure silence — I brushed my hand through her thick fur as she sat next to me.

I looked down at the house and saw helga carrying a small thing wrapped in cloth, I felt my heart drop as I saw helga drop to her knees, the wind covering her cries as she let out painful screams. I ran down the hill to get closer, watching her place the body down gently before picking up a shovel, slowly digging up the ground. I stopped as I got closer — with a good enough distance away still — I smelled a new scent, a faintly familiar smell — who is that? — I felt star stiffen next to me, I turned and saw a growl about to rip its way out of her throat and I quickly grabbed her mouth, holding it shut as I glared directly into her eyes. She whimpered gently before shaking my hand off her mouth, I turned back and saw an older man walking up to Helga as she continued digging — I knew why she was digging — I grimaced. 

“What are you doing?” The man asked Helga, she looked up tears brimming her brown eyes. Her lip curled in a vicious way. 

“I'm digging a grave for my daughter!” She shouted, voice filled with pain and sadness. I let out a small whimper — Poor sweet Angrboða, I tried helping but I do not think it was a good enough. I turned away from them, not wanting to hear the sad talk yet to come but I heard nothing, I turned back around and to my surprise the man had taken off his furs — An average size man, bald head covered in dark markings, his light brown beard long and dulled — and had started digging in place of Helga, a dark seldom mood filled the air as the man continued digging the small grave. As Helga held Angrboða’s body, I felt the wind pick up and rise slowly — The goddess Hel is here, to watch after Tsidá Hokŵat. I let the tears freely fall down my face as I watched the man begin to cover her body with the dirt, A warm sensation came from the right of me and I felt Moon brush her snout against my hand — I didn’t even notice her — I looked into her reef-like colored eyes as they had nothing but comfort in them. She nuzzled her body against mine, the wind blew hard and I looked behind me to see some of the pack — some sitting, some standing — looking up at the gray sky, Moon laid next to me and let out a powerful sorrow filled howl. I stood strong as the others joined in the howl, I looked back down to Helga and the man watching as he held her tightly as she wept to the gods, he also looking up at the sky with tear filled eyes — His bright blue eyes looked almost like a stone washing up from the ocean — I stared at the man until I realized he was the same man from not too long ago, his strange blue eyes taking me back to an unpleasant time — When owner would sometimes but very rarely let me loose in the forest for a day or so, mostly to see if I could survive and become the woman he wanted so bad. 

I closed my eyes to forget the painful memory, I sat back on my arse and let moon place her head on my lap as I waited for the man to leave, the sun was about to set when the man finally left, nothing but sad expressions said between the two as he left Helga alone, I slowly made my way to her house — Remembering the first time I met them both — I walked in and saw Helga with her knees held close to her chest, sitting by the water, eyes blank of feeling, just staring out at the water. 

“Helga” I said sadly, keeping my eyes lowly as I slowly walked up to her. As I got closer I heard her take a sharp breath in and a shaky one out, I finally looked up and saw tears streaming down her face as she looked into my eyes. I didn’t say anything else and just pulled her into a hug, she sat in my hug, unmoving as I felt the tears warm and wetted my left shoulder, I felt her arms slowly wrap around me and her breathing coming out in heavy huffs as she began to sob violently, her loud cries shaking her little body against mine. I silently just held her close and rubbed her back until her cries got quiet and the shaking had stopped, she pulled out of the hug and held my hands, sniffling here and there — her brown eyes reminding me of wet wood — until she could steady herself.

“Thank you.” She said pulling me back into the hug as she rested her arms on my shoulders while holding me close to her chest. I didn’t say anything, I nodded my head and held her back. We stayed like that until night fell over us and the nighttime cold settled in, I wrapped the pelt around us as Helga went back to staring off at the water, I closed my eyes and prayed to the gods — Please watch over Helga and please, Goddess Hel watch over young Angrboða. I opened my eyes and watched as the wind had picked up and some leaves danced on the water top before rising up into the sky, I held Helga tighter — The gods will watch over the both of them, I just know it.

  
  
  



	6. Holgan

_ sex. _

  
  


It has been a few days since little Hokŵat’ went to the goddess Hel and Helga is still struggling with everything, I decided to stay with her until I could see the small fire in her burn again — I brought one of the younger wolves with me instead of star or moon, knowing any new scent will have him growling. I watched helga as she busied herself while Kualani sweetly followed behind her, cleaning and tidying up areas that were already clean, she got closer to where all of Floki’s things were and slowed down, slowly walked over to a serpent-like shaped thing and gently — almost frighteningly — reached out and stroked the wooden object. I frowned slightly as I watched the sadness wash over her eyes, Her deep brown eyes glossing over with tears.

“Tell me more of Kattegat” I shouted from my seat of soft moss, on the small hill right before the house — Who wants to sit on hard ground. I frowned when Helga finally looked over to me, her eyes held no light as unfallen tears sat on the rim of her eyes. I smiled sadly at her. 

“Libita di-dous?” I watched some light return to her eyes. “W-what do you want to know?” She stammered trying to pull herself out of the sad state she was in, I frowned alittle before speaking again.

“Tell me what you like.” I said with a small smile, she let out a light sigh as she made her way to the almost finished boats, placed against the hill. Helga gently walked up and stepped into one of the boats, she walked over and sat against the beam, waiting for Kualani — who basically fell into the boat. I giggled alittle and helga gave me a small smile, he shook his fur out and sat down just to lay his head on her lap. 

“What are things you like the most about Kattegat?” I asked again. She didn’t say anything but let out a light chuckle — Her blonde hair shined in the light like gold. “Where do I begin?” she said lightly, she turned her head slightly so that she could see me before speaking up again. 

“The people of Kattegat grew together with the town, thanks to Ragnar…….” she trailed off again, the same sad look came back onto her face, she shook her head lightly before looking back at me. “I’m sorry Holgan.” I shook my head at her and looked directly into her — sad forest brown — eyes. 

“Don’t be sorry. Is this ragnar man libita?” I said, changing the topic. She smiled alittle and nodded her head. “He was the one who discovered new lands…..” She trailed off again, she looked at my face quickly before speaking up again — strange woman. 

“He has turned Kattegat into the place it is today.” She finished. I nodded and let her start to explain how this ragnar man fought the english — Still don’t know where or what kind of people they are — and found different lands and people with the help of his brother and friends. She suddenly stopped and looked down at Kualani who fell asleep on her lap, I cocked my head to the side. 

“What?” She looked at me with tears filling her eyes. “I-I………….haven’t told him.” Helga said quietly while going back to stare at her hands, I didn’t understand until she didn’t look back up from her hands — Floki. 

“Tell me about your best god.” I said, knowing if I even utter his name, I would hear her heart break. She didn't say anything but very softly began to stroke Kualani’s ear. 

“I don't have a favorite God but I do like the trickiest god Loki……” she trailed off again. I nodded in response before speaking again. 

“The father of Hel. My favorite God….well one of my favorite gods” I smiled, she turned and looked at me with a curious look in her eyes. “Why is Hel your favorite? What other gods do you favor?” She asked. I smiled — My goddess, Hel, born with half of a body that is alive and the other that is dead, she understood me at my lowest, I am cursed as well. 

“Holgan?” Helga said to get my attention — Even just thinking about my gods takes me to a different place, as if I’m almost with the gods themselves. “Sorry….Um she understands the cursed. I favor Hel, Nótt, Skaði, Odin, and Dagr.” I explained quickly, I went on to explain why, each god was important to me and soon enough Helga stopped me with her giggling. I cocked my head to the side in confusion — did I say something wrong again? — She smiled as she shook her head. 

“I didn’t mean to laugh but you show such passion towards your gods, I’d love to meet your pack as well.” She said with a fond look, I felt my cheeks get hot at her words. I quickly looked away and looked up at the soft clouds that scattered the sky. We went on talking about the Gods and the things that reminds us of them, Helga slowly changed the topic to me, trying to see if I remembered anything else about myself — I didn’t want to tell her where that man held me mostly because I couldn’t remember where it was exactly, I remember where it is in that area but I’d have to smell my way back. 

“What do you think your mother looked like or your father?” She asked me, slowly moving her legs to get more comfortable, Kualani lightly jumping awake just to get repositioned and comfortable again. I looked away from her and looked off at the few almost finished boats, the serpent that stole Helga’s light caught my eye as I fell into the dark that is my mind — Dark figures, all sitting around me while I was staring at another dancing, red, blue, purple hues swirl with each other as the figure spun and stopped on and off, a muffled voice grabs my attention, a bright smile and round lips all surrounded by a brown color that mimicked a dark gold in the dim yellow lighting pulled me close. I shook my head at the faint memory as I felt a quick, sharp pain spark behind my right eye. I slowly held a hand over my eye and opened the other, Helga looked up at me with worry painting lines on her face. “Are you okay? Is it your head again?” She asked with worry also coating her voice. I nodded my head and held my other hand up as a sign.

“I’m okay, I — I remembered something but it’s going, all I know is that I think my mother had very nice skin and a bright smile” I confessed, Helga smiled before standing up, Kualani stood up with her and watched her movements as she got as close as she could without climbing the little cliff. “Holgan, I believe that the gods will allow your memories to come back and soon you’ll be able to remember home.” I shook my head when I heard her say home. She frowned. 

“I am home when I am with the pack. The pack is home.” I said sternly — I may not remember my birth mother but Moon has been my mother for as long as I could remember even while I was with that man. Helga nodded and let out a small chuckle. “Yes, the pack is family and home. How else would the gods have allowed you to survive in the mountains.” I let out a hearty laugh and nodded. She giggled lightly back and sat against the rock dividing us, I could only see the top of her head but I watched as Kualani walk up to her and place his head down. We sat in silence for a while, the clouds lightened as the blue sky began to dim. 

“Holgan. I think I should go……..go to him. To Floki” She said, her voice cracking from emotion but they rang strong. She slowly stood up, not taking her eyes off the many boats scattering the beach — her back looked strong as her light yellow hair went gently along with the wind. I didn’t say anything but let out a — low, loud — howl, slowly; Kualani joined in and a few wolves not too far howled along. Helga finally looked behind, at me with eyes brimming with tears, I stood up and hop down to boat that she stood on, her eyes never once leaving mine.

“If you must, then go. He needs you.” I said while slowly grabbing her hand. She looked me in the eyes as they held a pond of unspilled tears. 

“I’ll be back, I promise you that.” She said, her voice holding strong. I nodded and smiled with my teeth — to ignore the burn from tears I didn’t want to come out. I let go of her hand and shook my head. 

“Well what do you need for your travels?” I asked. I went to hop off of the boat but I felt helga grab my arm, stopping me. I turned to look at her to only see her shaking her head, I cocked my head. “I don’t need much, I already prepared a bag.” She explained while letting go of my hand — why does my chest feel tight? — I nodded my head confused by the feeling welling up in my chest. She looked full of both fear and sadness. I hopped down from the boat anyway and waited at the bottom to help Helga down and watch Kualani leap down with excitement. I sat close to the calm water and watched kualani run alongside the river — I wanted to say how much I didn’t want her to leave and how I didn’t understand these feelings — I silently watched Helga grab her bag and smile at me — don’t leave. 

I stood up and walked over to her. I frowned but still went in to give her one final hug. “I will be back.” She said quietly, pulling me in closer. I nodded, not pulling away until I felt her arms relax. I called Kualani, who came crashing into my leg. Helga giggled and gently patted him on the head — don’t. I began to walk away and let Kualani follow behind me. “Holgan!” Helga huffed. I didn’t turn around, I simply waved my hand over my head.

“Jei T’sixil A’chde. Jei T’sixil A’chde. Jei T’sixil A’chde.” I chanted in my mother tongue — Asking the old gods to watch over her in her journey. I started running when I heard her say my name again — I don’t want to watch you leave. 

I kept running with Kualani close behind me until I knew we were far enough away, I slowed down to a walk and walked over towards the nearest creek, Kualani stayed close to my side as we got the creek. I looked around us to make sure we were safe — Kualani is still young and is the slowest runner in the litter. I nodded forward, signaling to him that we were safe and he could play around. He galloped ahead and launched himself into the water — his multi-colored fur darken slightly from the water — and started rolling about in the water, just to stand and shake the water from his body. I laughed and went alittle further up the river — to avoid fur in my mouth — to get some drinking water.

I looked down at the water and stared at my reflection — my black hair, long and wild — My hair is alot longer, I haven’t noticed how long, it’s to my mid-back. My brown skin reminded me of home — somehow — a place that is almost strange to me now. I watched my eyes as they watched me — My long dark lashes made the fire that danced in my eyes burn brighter as if it was the fuel — I shook my head gently and cupped my hands to drink from the river, I looked up and watched Kualani hop around in the water, splashing and whipping his head left and right. I smirked, watching him — he reminds me of something — his youthful spirit reminded me of the past. I sat close to the water, sometimes running my hand through the cold river water while letting the young wolf enjoy his free time — he’s not the runt of this litter and even so the runt runs faster than him — he let out a playful bark and ran towards me, I let him smash into me, knocking both of us over and into a roll, the young wolf nipped at my hair and shoulder as I laughed loudly but laid still, back to the ground, still giggling about the whole thing.

‘Holgan!’ Angrboða shouted from behind me, she wanted to see what the world looked like from the top of a big tree. ‘Just like the gods’ she said, I climbed a tree with a thick top, her small limbs wrapped around me for safety and support. I quickly told Angrboða to hide her face in my hair as we almost reached the top so that no branches poked her. I remember her giggles, we finally got to the top and I re-adjusted Angrboða close to my chest, her blonde hair barely touched her shoulders while her small legs I held at the bend in her knee to keep her up right. Her sounds of excitement and her small hands pulled at my hair made it feel as if my heart was swelling with happiness — Kualani’s loud barks brought me out of the sad, yet happy memory — when did I get up from….? I looked and saw that he had been trying to shake me out of my trance — my right leg soaked with water. I clicked — a noise I only use when the wolves are young — and kualani, head slightly down, slowly walked over. His reddish-brown eyes filled with uncertainty, I pouted alittle — I didn’t mean to scare him — I slowly opened my arms and let him walk into my arms, as he rested his head on my shoulder, I felt him sigh — mostly likely with relief that I was okay. I held him until he didn’t want to be held and more and shook me off, I stood up and took in our surroundings again, I sniffed the air slowly — found you. I began to follow Helga’s scent with Kualani prancing behind me — I didn’t give her a proper goodbye — the memory of Angrboða, shaked my core. 

I didn’t notice that I started running until I heard Kualani yelp behind me, I whipped around and saw that he had tripped over himself — recovered quickly though. I sniffed the air again and smelt that Helga was close by, I jerked my head and slowly stalked towards her scent. The path had become slowly wider as we grew closer to the town — It’s now or never. I quickened my speed as I saw her bright hair wave gently up and down with her walk, I hurried my way, brushing through overgrown branches and brush. 

“Helga!” I shouted, as I saw the large two raven flag, waving gently in the wind. She quickly turned around, a smile painted brightly on her face. She briskly turned around and walked towards me, I took in her features one last time, unsure of the next time I’ll see her — Her small figure, reminded me of a doe, gently but strong. Her long blonde hair flowing gently behind her as her light eyes shouted with happiness opposed to her black eye makeup, making her eyes look wild from the contrast. Helga pulled me into a tight hug, I hugged her back just as tightly — I’d probably break her arm if I hugged her as tightly as I wanted.

“I will be back. I’m sorry if anything I said previously hurt you.” She spoke, voice full with emotions. I couldn’t bring myself to speak — oddly — I instead just shook my head while as I smiled sadly. 

“No. I’m-I……..Hitkŵotalitali Ho…..Wali tàcha ahn. I-I’m sorry.” I stuttered, not knowing how to process this any other way — My mother tongue comforting me in a way no one could. Helga shook her head and pulled me back into the hug — this time holding my head closer to her breasts — before speaking again. 

“The gods have many things in store for you.” She said into the hug, the wind blew gently by us and I felt a sense of relief flush over me. She was right. the Goddess, Skaði, herself told me of this already and I doubt her by doubting myself. I pulled back and looked into Helga’s eyes — The light green reminded me of the moss floating in the water — and nodded slowly, she smiled and let her arms slid down to grab both of my hands.

“Holgan-”. 

“No. Helga, I am sorry………..I will see you again…..just don’t forget about me………... please .” I interrupted but ended up whispering — I couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eye when I finished. A strange familiar feeling crept up my spine and made me want to do nothing but let the tears fall from my eyes — I don’t want you to leave. She grabbed my face and held it gently in her hands.

“I would never. You’ve helped me more than anyone else has and for that I will be there when you also need me, you can always come visit me.” Helga offered, I shook my head but still smiled at her.

“I prefer the forest but maybe someday.” I chuckled, she giggled back before smiling gently and letting go of my hands. I nodded at her as a final goodbye and began walking back to the forest, Kualani’s fur brushing against my leg made me remember he was there — He must’ve stayed back while we were talking. I turned around and saw that Helga had looked back as well, I laughed heartily as she laughed along. 

“Jei T’sixil A’chde, Jei T’sixil A’chde. Safe Travels from My Gods.”

She smiled brightly as the sun peered through the leaves onto her face — I’ll never forget how she looks, right now. I smiled as I felt tears begin to prick the back of my eyes. I watched her as she walked into the gated town, I started to walk back when I couldn’t see her anymore and as I finally let the tears fall from my eyes. Kualani whimpered alittle, worried by my tears. I shook my head and smiled. 

“Pil L’ax Hark-Qua Yo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, know that I APPRECIATE YOU!
> 
> Please some feedback and lemme know HOW YAH FEEL! Lmfao my bad, currently just woke up from like a 12hr sleep!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this readers!!
> 
> ENJOY Next Chapter coming soon.


	7. ?????

_ sjau. _

  
  


I...I was with Moon...what’s going on, It’s dark. Why is everything black — flashes of the moon appear, white and full. Blood. I-i-i smell blood….alot of it — animals mangled, bones showing, red covering everything — I don’t understand! I-i’m scared, there’s nothing, nothing at all — a reflection stops and I look back as it…...it’s..it’s an _atuhm’latkil_. A demon — One eye like bright and loud like fire. One eye, white and as full as the moon. Black hair wild and blowing in the wind like an evil aura, it’s mouth pulled back into a nasty grin, teeth sharp and covered in blood. I-i-it’s me. NO. But then darkness, emptiness. Nothing.

Kill.

... 

Kill. 

...

Kill.

I'm tired.

Kill.

That man.

Blood.

No.

Kill. It.

K á  maa………… Ó loba …………. 

They’re gone.

Don’t.

Shut up.

SHUT UP.

Kill.

…

Blood.

…

Kill.

…

Kill.

I want death.

Never.

……….

I do not.

LEAVE.

ME.

ALONE!!!

Never.

  
  
I looked back at the  _ atuhm’latkil _ as we sat in darkness, sickened by it’s demonic aura. I lifted my hand and it mocked my movement. It’s eyes, big and wide.

“Because I am you.” It said. It’s mouth, not moving. I felt the fear creep up my spine but no words could come out. “We will meet again. Lahwaikahku.” 

  
  


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH!
> 
> I've read the comments and really appreciate them so much! ;_;
> 
> *SOBS*
> 
> But as ALWAYS If you're reading this, know that I APPRECIATE YOU! ALSO If you are continuing and keeping up with this IM CRYING INTERNALLY THANK YOU.
> 
> Please some feedback and lemme know how you liking it!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this readers!!
> 
> ENJOY Next Chapter coming soon.
> 
> *SPOILER*   
> Bjorn will be coming sooner than the others but just wait this gets REAL REAL QUICK.  
> ALSO this only follows plot up until after the battle of York then it should be considered 'alt ending'  
> (YOU ALREADY KNOW WHEN)


	8. Holgan

_ átta. _

Why is it so warm? — I was awake but I couldn’t open my eyes, I tried to move my fingers but then I felt a sharp pain — like a heated needle — going through the middle of my head. I growled lowly and — slowly — managed to peek out of one eye, I then tried to move my arms and legs slowly, another sharp stab like feeling pierced through my forehead and a whimper came out before I could stop it. I slowly opened— more like painfully — my eyes as I heard someone getting closer. A woman with fiery red hair came around the corner, shuffling inside with a bowl of — what looked to be hot — water and a piece of cloth tucked under her arm. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d wake up so soon!” She said in a hurry as she quickly came to the side of the bed. I watched her as she silently but swiftly placed the cloth into the water and squeezed the towel — why does this woman look familiar? 

“I found you in the forest, propped up against a tree.” She explained as she rang the water out of the cloth and gently placed it on my forehead — Why is she doing this? I tried to open my mouth to speak but she quickly hushed me, and I watched as she then set down the water bowl and grabbed a bowl with the matching round piece in it then a little sack of herbs, I kept watching her as she started to grind the herbs in the bowl. An earthy smell snaked into my nose — A familiar smell, reminding me of home. 

"You don't remember me huh??" She said, not looking up from the bowl — Remember? She does look familiar. She giggled and slowed her grinding. I just realized I couldn’t see her eyes as it was covered by her big bush of hair — Red at first glance but really orange, deep like a flame from a long lasting fire — suddenly she turned her head and our eyes met — Deep green eyes so filled with color, it reminded me of the wolves. 

“You saved me” She spoke finally, putting the piece down but leaving the bowl in her lap. “I-” she started but a pained look came on her face — She feels pain from deep down — her voice took me out of my head. 

“I was…..I-I needed help and you came in-out of the air…..” She trailed off all while not taking her eyes off me. “Like a God……….and saved me.” She finished — Ah, that woman I helped from that Jotnar of a man, her green eyes. That’s what it was — I wanted to speak but couldn’t, she quickly looked away and began looking for something, she placed the bowl on the small table near the bed and stood up.

“I’ll be right back..” She spoke quickly — Hmmm. She quickly ran around the corner to grab something, I heard her shuffling things around and some water spill over as I looked around the room — The bed was small but nice and there was a small table in the middle of the — kind of small, but it was much nicer than mine when I was-......I don’t really want to remember that right now— room but nothing much else other than blankets and pelts, a small window was right above the bed, covered by a sheet — The deep yellow color telling me that it was late in the day. She came back in; pulling me out of my thoughts with a small steaming brown cup and quietly walked back to me, she gently sat next to me on the bed and picked up the bowl, placing it on her lap. She put some of the crushed greens into the cup and stirred it with a small stick — where’d she get that? As she was focused on the drink, I studied her — Her flaming red hair and piercing green eyes made her body seem smaller than it is, her plain blue tunic and off-white hangerok made her features pop for some reason. 

“Here, drink.” She said — I didn’t even notice her move, I was so stuck on her features — while gently and carefully lifting my head so I could drink, I tried to move my arm to grab the cup but again a sharp pain — like claws. I hissed before whimpering. She quickly placed the cup down and cradled my head with both hands.

“Are you okay??” Her green eyes wide with fear, I looked back into them — Hopefully she understands. The woman peered into them, her eyes focusing on me.

“........Okay, I’ll be more careful, I’m sorry” She said softly — This woman must be a god, she understood me and I can’t even speak — before cradling me head again and bringing the cup up to my mouth, I drank it slowly —  Ah! Bitter! I kept drinking until it was all gone and gulped it down in one swallow before frowning. She giggled and again gently put my head back onto the pillow and the cup down. I watched as she took the towel and dipped it into the water bowl, squeezing the water out again and placing it on my forehead. She sat gently on the bed and stared at me, eyes glancing down my body — I...feel...really tired — I felt my eyes get heavy, so I stared back at her — My ember eyes, probably is why she is staring so hard. 

“Why are your eyes like fire and your skin looks like leather?” She leaned in as she whispered. “But you speak our tongue?” She trailed off. Why is she asking so many questions? I’m tired — I let my eyes close and relaxed into the bed — Whatever.. she  gave me …. is.

“ Why did I find you in the forest …….wet ….animals...? ” She trailed off. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank youuuuuu for the support on this!
> 
> I've been going through alot of personal issues and had to move and yeah alot! But seeing how many people enjoy this really drives me, so Thank you.
> 
> As ALWAYS If you're reading this, know that I APPRECIATE YOU! ALSO If you are continuing and keeping up with this IM CRYING INTERNALLY THANK YOU.
> 
> Please some feedback and lemme know how you liking it!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this readers!!
> 
> ENJOY   
> Next Chapter coming soon.


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